CHURCH, Season Two, Episode Four

CHURCH, The Television Show

Season Two

Episode Four

    “Hey Noodle,” The Supervisor greeted, “Did you ride your bike to work today?”

    “Nope, I misplaced it! I think someone might have roofied me last night because I don’t remember a thing!”

    “Haha Noodle, you’re crazy,” The Supervisor smiled.

    Noodle grabbed his radio, stamp, and a clicker, and set up in the lobby. The Hostess came down and stood by him.

    “When are you shipping off to The Army?” She asked.

    “I don’t know. I’m missing a recommendation from my flight instructor… I know he thinks I’m a great pilot, but he doesn’t like war. So, just in case, I’ve signed up to take the firefighter civil service test. I’d love to be a firefighter again.”

    “You should be a detective! You’d be really good at it,” she said.

    “What about you – are you a club girl for life?”

    The Hostess smiled, “I always rise right to the top!”

    “To the top of what?” Noodle exclaimed, “You’re not even Italian!”

    While Noodle talked to The Hostess, The Supervisor searched for Big Mac.

    “I heard you got Noodle so fucked up last night he couldn’t even find his bike!”

    “Jesus man, he wouldn’t let us drive him home. He crashed!”

    “Did you have to scrape him off the ground?”

    “No, not at all. That Ninja got up and ran home! We parked his bike on Raspberry Street.”

    “Do me a favor,” The Supervisor requested. “Don’t tell Noodle where it is, okay?”

    “You’re cold! But okay, I won’t tell.”

    Down in the lobby, Noodle was going insane. Not only did he have to battle the flow of people coming in, but he also had to hold back all the cigarette smokers who wanted to get out.

    “Sorry guys, you can’t go outside until after 12:30 a.m.,” Noodle explained to the people at his back.

    “You can’t keep us here, it’s illegal!” Some guy shouted.

    “Dude, you can leave The Club, but they won’t stamp you at the door, and you won’t get back in. There’s no re-entry until after 12:30,” Noodle used his last breath to explain.

    “You’re an asshole!” A girl shouted.

    “I’m not an asshole,” Noodle cooled, “I’m just telling you the rules for re-entry. I’ll let you past me, but they might not let you back in the front door.”

    A mass of people built up behind him. When they heard the situation, most returned upstairs.

    “We’ll take our chances,” one guy said, turned, and handed Noodle a tip.

    When they came back from their cigarette, Noodle allowed them back inside. But the guy complained that there were other people outside smoking too.

    “You lied to us!” His girlfriend shouted.

    “I didn’t lie,” Noodle explained, “That’s really the rule. DJ yells at me about it every night.”

    “I think you tell people that just to scam them out of money. Give us our twenty dollars back!”

    “I let you go outside, and I let you back in, and I never asked for money. Your friend walked past me and then turned around to tip me. So I’m not going to give it back, I’m not going to return a tip.”

    “Fuck you! I’m going to have you fired,” The guy yelled right in Noodle’s face.

    And then the girl started yelling. Her screams were much more annoying. Noodle was irritated. Luckily for him, that’s when The Supervisor arrived.

    “Why are you yelling at my guy?” The Supervisor asked.

    “This asshole made us pay him twenty dollars to go smoke a cigarette!”

    “No he didn’t,” The Supervisor replied.

    “Yeah, I handed him twenty bucks!”

    “No you didn’t,” The Supervisor said. No matter what their reply, The Supervisor just kept saying ‘No’.

    Noodle smiled. That’s how it went at The Club. They protected each other. Or so, that’s what Noodle thought.

    After work The Supervisor joked with Noodle. “So, you think a fat girl might’ve roofied you?”

    “I’m not sure what to believe! All I know is that I wasn’t drinking much but I don’t remember anything from the night.”

    “Oh well. I guess you lost your bike.”

    “I’m going to find it!”

    “Noodle, you’re like that guy from the movie RocknRolla.”


    “Because no matter what stands in his way, he doesn’t stop, he just keeps on coming. You should watch it!”

    “I’ve never heard of that movie. What’d you say the title was?”

    “RocknRolla. There’s a character in it that looks just like you– he flies solo and he just keeps coming. No matter what happens to him he just keeps…on…coming. Trust me, he’s just like you.”

    “I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Noodle dismissed.

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